Wholesale Inquiries — Plaid Pants Emporium

We do not take wholesale inquiries lightly. Harold reviews each application personally. Please complete the form below in full. Incomplete applications are returned without comment.

Business Name Legal name, as it would appear on a check

City and State

How many trousers do you intend to move per quarter? Estimate. Harold will know if you are guessing.

Do you have a loading dock? Harold considers this a character question, not a logistics question.

Are you, or have you ever been, affiliated with a discount pants outlet? This includes temporary outlet events, tent sales, and clearance annexes.

Have you ever sold a pant at a loss? Harold considers this a moral question, not a financial one.

What is your position on pleats? There is no wrong answer. There are, however, several answers Harold finds concerning.

Describe your typical customer. One sentence. Be honest. Harold will know if you are being aspirational.

Have you or any member of your staff ever referred to a pant as a "trouser" ironically? Harold does not consider "trouser" to be an ironic word. Harold considers it the correct word.

How many polyester garments are you currently stocking? Approximate is fine. Harold will estimate the rest from context.

If Harold visited your store unannounced, what would he find? Harold has never done this. He reserves the right.

Do you own a pair of plaid trousers personally? This is not a disqualifying question. It is, however, noted.

Are you familiar with the work of Stanisław V? He is the current Director of Quality Assurance. He is 11 years old. This is not a metaphor.

In the event of a disagreement with Harold regarding a pant, how would you proceed? This is a hypothetical. Harold does not lose disagreements about pants. But your answer is informative.

Finally: why do you want to carry the Plaid Pants Emporium line? Harold reads this section last. He has been known to approve applications based on this answer alone. He has also been known to reject them. One sentence.

Describe your retail philosophy in one sentence. Harold reads these. Harold has opinions about them.

Application Received

Your application has been received and placed in Harold's review queue. Harold will review it when he is ready.

Harold is rarely ready.

You will hear from us if the answer is yes. You will not hear from us if the answer is no. Harold considers this the more efficient system.

— Plaid Pants Emporium · Wholesale Division · Est. 1974
Gary manages the queue. Gary does not share the queue.