We take all concerns seriously. We have never changed anything as a result of them, but we take them seriously.
Recent Complaints Resolved
"The color on the Forest Glen Special is described as 'deep forest' on your website. The color I received appears to be more of a 'medium forest' or possibly a 'forest at dusk.' I feel this is misleading."
Our ResponseWe have reviewed your concern and stand behind the pant. The depth of a forest, like the depth of a man's character, is not fixed. It varies with the light. We consider the pant correctly named.
"I wore the Midnight Maverick to a supper club as your description suggested and was asked to leave. The management said the pants were 'disruptive.' I do not understand how a pant can be disruptive. I would like an explanation."
Our ResponseWe have reviewed your concern and remain sympathetic, though not surprised. The Midnight Maverick has been described as disruptive in seven separate incident reports since 1974. We consider this the intended effect. We recommend a different supper club.
"My pants arrived and they smell like a warehouse. Not a bad warehouse, but a warehouse. Is this normal?"
Our ResponseWe have reviewed your concern. Yes. The smell is the double-knit polyester blend interacting with the storage environment. It resolves after two washes or one Elks Lodge meeting, whichever comes first. We stand behind the pant.
"I purchased the Macomb Powerbroker and my wife says I look like a man who would lose a very small amount of money at a casino. I am not sure if this is a compliment. Please advise."
Our ResponseWe have reviewed your concern and consulted among ourselves. The consensus is that it is a compliment. A man who loses a small amount at a casino is a man who goes to casinos, which suggests a certain confidence. We stand behind the pant and behind your wife's assessment.
"I ordered the Purple Haze Highlander and my neighbor has not spoken to me since. We used to wave. Now he does not wave. I would like the Emporium to take some responsibility for this."
Our ResponseWe have reviewed your concern with great care and cannot accept responsibility. The Highlander does not cause neighbors to stop waving. It reveals neighbors who were not fully committed to waving in the first place. We consider this a service. We stand behind the pant.