"I wore the Macomb Powerbroker to my nephew's confirmation and four separate people asked where I purchased my trousers. I told them it was none of their business, but I felt wonderful. My wife says I have become insufferable since the purchase. I consider this a reasonable tradeoff."

"My wife said I looked like a couch. I said, Margaret, this is a $39 pant. She came around eventually — specifically, at the Dobrowski wedding in April, when three people complimented the color. Margaret has not mentioned the couch again. I have purchased a second pair as a precaution."

"The Midnight Maverick arrived in three days and fits like it was made for me. It was not made for me — I ordered the wrong size — but a belt solved the whole situation. I have since recommended the Emporium to my brother-in-law Gerald, who has wide hips and strong opinions about trousers. He found the experience formative."

"I have purchased eleven pairs. My doctor says I need to stop. I disagree with my doctor on this specific issue. He is a good doctor and I trust him on most things, including my cholesterol, which is also a matter he has strong opinions about. The trousers are non-negotiable."

"My son said I looked like a tablecloth at Thanksgiving. I said, son, this tablecloth cost thirty-seven dollars and it will outlive both of us. He has not brought it up again. My daughter-in-law, however, asked for the website. I gave it to her. She has since purchased a pair for her father, who lives in Minnesota and reportedly cried."

"I was skeptical about ordering pants from a catalog. Then the Avocado Achiever arrived and I wore them to a job interview. I got the job. I am not saying the pants are responsible. I am also not not saying that. I have since worn them to every important meeting I have attended in a professional capacity."

"I purchased the Burnt Orange Bonanza for a retirement party and wore it to forty-seven subsequent occasions including two funerals, one of which was my own brother's, and he had specifically requested in his will that mourners wear something with some life to it. I feel I honored his wishes more completely than anyone else in attendance."

"I drive a snowplow for the county and there are not many opportunities to dress well in my line of work. I wear the Burgundy Big Deal on Sundays, to church, and to the monthly meeting of the Western Upper Peninsula Coin and Stamp Society, where I am the only member under sixty-two. The other members have asked about the pants. I have directed them here."

"I found the website clean and easy to navigate, which I appreciated. I did not appreciate the sizing guide's suggestion that I obtain a reference inseam measurement from 'a similarly proportioned household animal.' I live on a farm. I own a goat. I followed the instructions. The goat's name is Bartholomew and he was not cooperative. The pants fit correctly. I am eighteen years old and this was not how I expected to spend my Saturday."